One of the biggest changes that most couples have to deal with when they bring children in their lives is their sex life. Where previously there were only the two of you and sex was something that happened where and whenever you fancied, now all of a sudden there are many other aspects, thoughts and feelings that have cropped up and suddenly everything has changed. Here are some hints and tips for spicing up your sex life once you have had children.

Dealing with hormone changes

One of the biggest changes after having a baby for the woman is the hormones that are racing through her body and the feelings that having someone dependant on you totally brings. The woman may feel very tearful and is affected by what is called �the baby blues�. Only time and patience will change this but eventually the body will come back to normal and settle down.

Making time with a newborn

Another big factor which puts off couples is the fact that they might be disturbed while in the middle of love making, this is very often a concern for the man more than the woman and can very easily lead to problems in a relationship.� With a newborn child, you may be concerned that the baby will begin to cry during your intimate time.� However, you must remember that this time is key to maintaining a strong and loving relationship that will enable you to provide the best care for your new little one.� Neither of you want your spouse to feel neglected any more than you want the baby to feel neglected.� Although it can be difficult when you are tired and cranky from late night feedings, when the little one is snoozing in the next room, snuggle up t.� Make time every day to cuddle and be close with your partner.� Not every day has to have the cuddling end in sex, but you will be surprised at the frequency at which it does.

With older children

With older children, the first thing you need to do, especially if you are worried about your children walking in on you or have had them walk in on you in the past is install a lock on your door.� If your child ever does walk in on you, don�t panic.� Send your child back to their room and then go and gently explain that what they saw is what mommies and daddies do when they love each other very much.

Dad�s feelings count too

Although the majority of men won�t admit it, they do feel left out as naturally the mothering instincts come out and the mother focuses all her energy on her child or children. So while the women wants to make an effort to include her partner and not make him feel left out, the partner also has to realize that these feelings are only natural for the mother and she isn�t pushing you aside knowingly.� The man has to find a way to be involved with the child.� This could be as simple as making and feeding the baby the bottle or going to fetch the child for a late-night feeding.� As a more romantic gesture, the father could get a cup of tea or glass of water for the mother while she is feeding the child.

Other ideas

Whenever you can let grandma or another relative take the children for the weekend and spend some quality time together without having to wonder if the child is safe and well. Even if it means you don�t go anywhere just be with each other and try to reconnect as you were before children arrived on the scene.

Try something new, we can all benefit from a change and changing the way things are in the bedroom is no exception. For example you could try introducing something such as dressing up in uniforms. Dressing up is a way to help you escape from the humdrum of life and do or be something different. For example your man could dress up as a policeman, pilot or someone from the armed forces. You could dress up for you man as a French maid, policewoman or nurse.

If you have got into a rut and sex has become boring then consider trying out new positions. There are many ways you can learn new positions, the Internet has a vast amount of information and of course there are many books on new sexual positions. While some of the sexual positions in the kama sutra require you to be almost double jointed, there are a variety out there that are suitable for anyone, of any age.

Introduce sex toys into your love life, these can be as kinky or tame as you desire and can quickly add excitement and bring back the spark to a deteriorating sex life. There are toys available for both the man and women and these include handcuffs, pleasure creams or light bondage gear such as whips.

Role playing can add that little bit extra to a fading sex life, there is something exciting about pretending to be someone you are not. For instance pretend that you are complete strangers meeting each other for the first time in a bar. Play this out by using stools at your kitchen counter top and entice the other into a night of naughty passion with a stranger. Or you could play at being secretary and boss, doctor and nurse. The possibilities are only limited by your imagination.

Lots of caressing and touching can add a spark and light the fires of passion. Plan on not having full sex but rather just foreplay, this can get so exciting that the two of you lose all control and end up having the best sex of your life.

Introducing food into your foreplay can be a great turn on, ideas you can use are bananas and whipped cream, cherries, chocolate or strawberry sauce, ice cream, again what you can do to turn each other on is only limited by your imagination and the contents of your fridge.

These are just some of the ways which you can easily and quickly spice up your sex life without it costing you a fortune, what you can achieve and how quickly you can achieve it is virtually only limited by your imagination.

The first step to putting some zing back into your sex life is revitalizing it with some romance. When you first started out together you were probably a lot more romantic than you are now. In most relationships when people start to feel comfortable with each other and get to know each other, romance drops off a lot or even disappears altogether. There are many ways that a couple can be romantic; for example, surprise is a good thing to reintroduce back into the relationship. One night cook something you both enjoy that you had at a restaurant while you were dating, set out the table nicely with napkins and a tablecloth, wine glasses, candles, some nice flowers and low lighting. Get dressed up for the occasion and meet your spouse at the door with a big kiss and hello.

Romance can also include smaller things in your everyday life such as curling up bedside your partner to watch a movie, giving them a little kiss or a touch, perhaps a massage. There are many ways you can add romance back into the relationship and it doesn’t just mean flowers and chocolates, words and a touch can be a lot more romantic.

Doing something different can add a spark to your sex life. For example if you think of sex and just the bedroom then of course it will eventually get boring and the same all the time. Variety is the spice of life and you should bring some into your sex life. For example you could have a dress up play night, this could be where you introduce a scenario such as meeting each other in a bar and pretend you’re meeting for the first time. This could include dinner and a movie and of course plenty of hand holding.

If your sex life has gotten a little stale and only takes place on certain days as a matter of routine then change that routine and surprise your partner every now and again. Breaking what has become a habit is the main thing. Anything that is done out of habit becomes a chore and your sex life should be unpredictable and something which is on the spur of the moment. If you have children then think about asking if they can sleep at your parents every now and again to give the two of you some privacy and time to put some sparkle and surprise back into your life. Routine is the number one problem that causes the most stress and breakdown in marriages.