Once you agree that there are some problems in your married life, you may need to think and find the reasons why. Off-course, it will be just like a one-way traffic and it is quiet difficult that you alone should try to improve your relations. Your partner should equally respond to your efforts to save your marriage. However, you must make some efforts to find out the problems in your married life and develop some qualities within you to maintain better relationships.

The first step you may need to take in order to save your marriage is to bring back the spark in your relationship again. It is very important to spend time with each other. You may use this time to relax and enjoy in each other’s company and recall the moments that you had spent together.

This may help to do away with the misunderstandings and resolve the conflict if any. You should show deep love for your partner and make him/her feel how much you need him/her. Love is an important bridge in a married life that may keep the couple bound together. You may send a romantic message to your partner or arrange for the romantic outings.

Self-assessment is a very important solution to the question can you save a marriage alone. You should be able to realize your mistakes and develop ways to improve your behavior. Avoid the things that may hurt your partner. The conflicts in married life may be due to ego or some misunderstandings. Hence, you should give away your ego and should take an initiative to resolve the problems in your married life. You should be ready for the compromises it demands.

Good communication is a very important factor for developing healthy relationships. You should share all your problems, expectations and feelings with your partner. Communication is not limited to just talking with others, but you should be able to listen to your partner and understand him/ her. The most important thing is that you should fully trust your partner and have faith in your relationship.

Keeping the marital relations alive is very challenging. Always remember that during the course of time, both the partners may change. It is also very important to learn how to deal with these changes. Off-course, it requires efforts and cooperation from both sides. But, you can take an initiative from your side and start to work on the problems in married life.

If you are still wondering, can you save a marriage alone, and then the answer is yes! You can save a marriage alone if you are ready to put in some efforts first.

You’re not alone.

Living with the same partner for a long time can become stable and comfortable, and, as a result, can also kill the spark that made your relationship so special in the first place.

Here are some simple, fun and creative ideas to reignite that magic:

1. SEND THEM A UNIQUE GIFT

Get a piece of paper and some crayons. Draw a bright childlike picture with a smiley sun and two stick figures holding hands. Add labels with your two names pointing to the stick figures. Write ‘I Love You’ inside a heart. Next get a large formal envelope. Place your drawing inside and type up a formal address label of your partner’s workplace, such as: For the immediate and urgent attention of:  Rebecca Jones, Level 20, Collins & Smith Solicitors, New York.  Mail it to your partner so they receive it in the middle of a busy day.

2. BECOME KIDS AGAIN

If you are walking by a park, visit the swings and give your partner a ride. This will often bring back happy memories from their childhood.

3. FUN WITH WATER

On a hot summer’s day, buy two large water pistols and take them to the beach with you. Pull them out and throw one to your partner and then have a huge water fight.

4. A MASSAGE WITH A TWIST

Buy a small, decorated cardboard box, a sheet of colored tissue paper, some massage oil and a blank card. Line the box with the tissue paper. Place the massage oil in the box and write the following message on the card: I know a great masseur. For an appointment call: (Your Phone Number)

5. BRING BACK CHILDHOOD MEMORIES

Contact your partner’s family and ask if there was anything she always wanted when she was a little girl. For example if she always wanted a porcelain doll, buy one for her birthday. She will not only appreciate the gift, but also the fact that you were thoughtful enough to find out what she always wanted. You can do this for your man too.

6. STARE AT THE CLOUDS

Drive into the country, find a grassy hill, and lie with your partner and look up at the clouds.

7. WALK ALONG THE BEACH

Trace out the shape of a large love heart in the sand. Sit inside the heart and cuddle your partner as you watch the sun go down.

8. ORGANIZE A PICNIC ON A WARM SUMMER’S NIGHT

Spread a picnic blanket on the ground and get together some snacks, chocolates and champagne. Lie down on the blanket with your partner and gaze up at the stars together.

9. SHOW YOU’RE GRATEFUL FOR YOUR PARTNER

Leave a long-stem rose where your partner will find it, with a note on it saying: “Thank you for coming into my life.”

10. SPICE UP YOUR LOVEMAKING

Probably the most profound way to rekindle the romance in your relationship is to spice up your lovemaking. Surprise your partner with a little gift after you make love, try a new position, learn to give your partner a sensual massage before or after, or just spend some time staring into each other’s eyes and caressing their bare skin before making love.

Many people underestimate the affect passionate and intimate lovemaking has on a relationship. If you spice it up, chances are you and your partner will naturally do romantic things for each other.

Why?

Because passionate lovemaking connects two people in a meaningful and unexplainable way that nothing else can.

About the Author:

Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the author of 500 Lovemaking Tips, a book full of ways to spice up your lovemaking, adding more passion, pleasure and intimacy to your experience. To read more, visit:
500 Lovemaking Tips

Over the years, I’ve seen couples make the same mistakes over and over again, when trying to improve their love lives, and I’d like to teach you how to overcome and avoid these problems.

Here are the 7 lovemaking mistakes. Are you making them?

Mistake #1: Feeling scared or embarrassed to talk about trying new things

Have you ever had an idea to spice up your lovemaking but were afraid of what your partner may think? Believe it or not, in 90% of cases, your partner would LOVE to try something new, too, but they’re just as uncomfortable or embarrassed about bringing it up as you are.

And you don’t need to introduce whips, chains or a third person. That’s nonsense! There are hundreds of ways to bring variety to your passionate play that aren’t crude or dangerous and that your partner is sure to be comfortable with.

Mistake #2: Trying to convince the partner to make love

If your lover is tired or not in the mood for sex, trying to convince or persuade them to have sex almost NEVER works. On the other hand, when a person is sexually aroused, their body releases the chemical ‘adrenaline’ into the bloodstream. This chemical is what gives you the energy to make love. So here’s how to arouse them the right way. Yes, even if they’re tired.

Ladies: Want to get him in the mood? Give him fellatio or manually stroke him between 9 �10 in the morning. This is when his testosterone levels are highest for the day. For better results, also wear something sexy or nothing at all. He’ll like that.

Lads: Deep passionate kisses are one of the biggest ‘turn-ons’ for women. Looking in her eyes and touching her face while kissing her can really increase arousal, too. And give some attention to her neck��it will drive her wild.
But don’t rush this! Spend quality time building up her arousal with your sensual kisses.

Mistake #3: Neglecting foreplay to enjoy intercourse sooner

People in a relationship (especially men) tend to neglect foreplay so they can begin to enjoy intercourse sooner, but did you know that foreplay is actually said to intensify orgasms?

That’s right. If you kiss, caress and touch longer, you can make your lovemaking even more satisfying.
So SLOW DOWN. Take your time. If you want to make it even better, tease your partner in a playful way. (This works like crazy.)

If you find something that they really enjoy, stop doing it, move back, and then do it again later. The more you pull back and push forward, the more they’ll want it. And the more intense their experience will be. There are many games you can play to heighten this anticipation, too.

Mistake #4: Using toys or porn to make your lovemaking better

When sex hits a rough patch, many couples (men especially) think that a video, some plastic or vibrating thingy will instantly takes things through the roof.

Wrong!� While toys can certainly have their place in your lovemaking repertoire, relying on them can be extremely dangerous. These outside sources of pleasure can quickly make lovemaking even less fulfilling.

Why? Because you don’t want your partner to end up looking forward to their plastic toy for pleasure more than they look forward to pleasure with you, do you? Couples need to first fully discover how to please all their spouses’ body parts before introducing other elements. Use them as a spice, not the main course.

Mistake #5: Trying to make the woman orgasm ONLY from intercourse

Men often feel “unmanly” if they can’t satisfy their woman from intercourse. But what they need to understand is that a large number of women can’t achieve orgasm through normal lovemaking.

Just knowing this takes the pressure off men completely. Now there’s no need to get upset when their women don�t reach orgasm. Instead, men should master the art of cunnilingus (going down on a woman).

Mistake #6: Trying to �finish� at the same time

Simultaneous orgasms are quite overrated. Instead of aiming for one orgasm that you share together, focus completely on the woman�s needs first. Hold off from the positions you find most enjoyable and instead make love in ways that are most pleasurable for your lady, until she is completely satisfied. That way you have a much greater chance of both climaxing.

Mistake #7: Sticking to a �set routine� too often

You know the drill. You take your clothes off, insert part A into part B, and, within a few minutes, the routine is over. Sound familiar?

No matter how fantastic lovemaking can be, there�s no denying it can get boring over the years.
And the reason is because lovemaking in its basic act is always the same. But
the danger is letting it get �too routine,� which can begin to affect your relationship.

The BEST WAY to protect your love life and precious connection with your partner is to have lots of new lovemaking ideas ready at your disposal.

That’s the secret.

In fact, when you have an abundance of NEW tips and techniques ready, you�ll enjoy more hot, steamy and passionate lovemaking, discover newfound enthusiasm to make love and even make love more often.

About the Author:

Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the author of 500 Lovemaking Tips, a book full of ways to spice up your lovemaking, adding more passion, pleasure and intimacy to your experience.

To read more, visit: 500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets

One of the biggest changes that most couples have to deal with when they bring children in their lives is their sex life. Where previously there were only the two of you and sex was something that happened where and whenever you fancied, now all of a sudden there are many other aspects, thoughts and feelings that have cropped up and suddenly everything has changed. Here are some hints and tips for spicing up your sex life once you have had children.

Dealing with hormone changes

One of the biggest changes after having a baby for the woman is the hormones that are racing through her body and the feelings that having someone dependant on you totally brings. The woman may feel very tearful and is affected by what is called �the baby blues�. Only time and patience will change this but eventually the body will come back to normal and settle down.

Making time with a newborn

Another big factor which puts off couples is the fact that they might be disturbed while in the middle of love making, this is very often a concern for the man more than the woman and can very easily lead to problems in a relationship.� With a newborn child, you may be concerned that the baby will begin to cry during your intimate time.� However, you must remember that this time is key to maintaining a strong and loving relationship that will enable you to provide the best care for your new little one.� Neither of you want your spouse to feel neglected any more than you want the baby to feel neglected.� Although it can be difficult when you are tired and cranky from late night feedings, when the little one is snoozing in the next room, snuggle up t.� Make time every day to cuddle and be close with your partner.� Not every day has to have the cuddling end in sex, but you will be surprised at the frequency at which it does.

With older children

With older children, the first thing you need to do, especially if you are worried about your children walking in on you or have had them walk in on you in the past is install a lock on your door.� If your child ever does walk in on you, don�t panic.� Send your child back to their room and then go and gently explain that what they saw is what mommies and daddies do when they love each other very much.

Dad�s feelings count too

Although the majority of men won�t admit it, they do feel left out as naturally the mothering instincts come out and the mother focuses all her energy on her child or children. So while the women wants to make an effort to include her partner and not make him feel left out, the partner also has to realize that these feelings are only natural for the mother and she isn�t pushing you aside knowingly.� The man has to find a way to be involved with the child.� This could be as simple as making and feeding the baby the bottle or going to fetch the child for a late-night feeding.� As a more romantic gesture, the father could get a cup of tea or glass of water for the mother while she is feeding the child.

Other ideas

Whenever you can let grandma or another relative take the children for the weekend and spend some quality time together without having to wonder if the child is safe and well. Even if it means you don�t go anywhere just be with each other and try to reconnect as you were before children arrived on the scene.

1. Work Out A Budget
IF money seems to be the constant source of your argument, consider working out a budget that everyone can live with. This way, both parties are clear on what is expected of themselves and what to expect of the other. Many couples have a hard time working out a budget that both parties can live with at first, so be open to changing a few things around depending on what is and is not working out for you and your spouse. After you have your finances squared away you will be surprised at the stress that is lifted off of you shoulders, and the stress that is lifted off of the shoulders of your spouse as well. Bills and money are real stressors; they do not have to go it alone and they should know that.

2. Consider Marriage Counseling
Communication barriers are one of the most trying issues that any married couple can face. Marriage counselors are trained to understand the nature of even the most seemingly crackpot relationships and as long as you are honest with your therapist they might be able to help you and your spouse pinpoint some of the issues that are putting the most stress on your spouse. Perhaps they feel unappreciated, or intimidated. Perhaps they are bored or would like something different but do not know how to say it. Marriage counselors can help you and your spouse stay married and work through the difficulties; after all, if trivial problems were going to break you up, you would not have gotten married now, would you?

3. Keep Your Business Your Business
Often times, the most disruptive factor in a marriage can be outside influences. This has to do with the impact that children, in-laws, friends and other family members can have on your relationship. If the influence of other people has been known to cause problems in your relationship, seek the advice of one person to keep the buzz down or seek the services of a therapist or marriage counselor. If you and your spouse are in agreement as to how to handle the influence of outside people, then you will be that much stronger as a couple and more able to handle anything that comes your way.

Helping yourself and your spouse work toward a better marriage is not always the easiest thing to do, but with the proper dedication and the proper help you and your significant other can overcome anything.

Compatibility

Compatibility is the mainstay of any relationship, all the things that you have in common. While of course you are not going to like and agree on every single thing having things that you both like and agree on does go a long way to surviving a successful marriage.

If you have differences and you surely will, then respect the others differences. This can be the perfect opportunity to learn from one another, while you need compatibility, differences can also hold a relationship together.

Understanding

Learning how to be understanding is one trait of a successful marriage. At times you won�t always agree on things and when this happens instead of sticking steadfast to your ideas or point of view try and see it through the eyes of your spouse.

Communication

Talking and sharing is an important factor in any relationship and if your marriage is to stand the test of time then it is essential that you can sit down and talk. Talking during good times and bad, when you are agreeing and also when you are disagreeing, simply by talking and paying attention to what your partner is saying can get you through the ups and downs of married life.� Men and women must also understand that by nature, each half of the partnership requires a different level of communication.� Men are direct, to the point and can say what needs to be said much quicker than women.� Women are discussers, they usually enjoy discussing the situation, without the necessity of an answer as men have.

Resolving differences

When you have differences this can help to build a stronger and deeper relationship by resolving them. When you have differences instead of thinking you are right and they are wrong, instead listen to each other, and to what the other are saying.

Remember gratitude

Learn to say thank you and express your gratitude for even the smallest of things. A little thank you for just being you can work wonders in any relationship.

Making time for each other

Always make time to be together and this is especially important when children start to come into the relationship. This is the time when marriages start to break down; the husband gets a little jealous as the wife turns all her attention to the children. Take a couple of nights out to just be together and enjoy a romantic dinner for two, or snuggle up in front of the TV, just make sure that you continue to do the things that you used to when it was just the two of you.

Give the other a little surprise occasionally. This could be cooking a favorite meal, wearing a special scent that the other likes or giving little things such as chocolates or flowers. On the other hand, loving surprises for married folks can also come in the form of finishing a long overdue house project or even surprising the other by doing their household chore for the day.

The biggest downfall in relationships is poor communication, communicating poorly in a relationship leads to problems such as misunderstandings, disagreements, and anger and eventually putting your relationship at a distance. Improving your communication in relationships can help you to develop a deeper, lasting, more meaningful relationship and so a much happier life. There are many tips and techniques which are quick and easy to learn to get more out of your relationships and develop them into more meaningful ones, here are just a few.

• When dealing with conflicts in relationships never bring up the past, try to stick to the issue at hand and working towards a solution, bringing up past issues will only confuse the situation more and is very unlikely to go towards resolving the problem.
• Try to see any conflict from the other person�s point of view, if you are both only focusing on your own point of view there will very likely be no give and take and ultimately no solution to the problem.
• Always listen to what the person is saying, while many of us think we do very few actually do listen whole-heartedly, most of the time we drift off to think about other things or think about what the person is going to say next.
• Don�t immediately get on the defensive when you are criticized, while this is hard to do, as no one like to hear criticism it is important to understand the others thoughts.
• Instead of being pig headed and always trying to win the argument, try looking for ways that you can come to some sort of compromise together, working together is more productive than working against each other.
• If tempers become frayed while discussing a difference of opinion, take a break; going at it all out will only lead to one or the other saying something which they will regret when cooled down.
• Don�t always put the blame on the other person, realize that you are not perfect and not always right all the time.
• If you feel your relationship is going downhill fast then don�t be afraid to get some help via counseling.
• Make time for your relationships; take long walks that give you the opportunity to talk instead of sitting down in front of the TV.
• Make a surprise and unexpected call to your loved one, family members or friends if for nothing else but just to say �Hi, I was just thinking about you�
• Make them feel special every now and again, give them a token of your appreciation to let them know you care or to say thank you.
• In loving relationships make sure the other knows how you feel, when talking hold hands or show some other sign of affection to them.

The first step to putting some zing back into your sex life is revitalizing it with some romance. When you first started out together you were probably a lot more romantic than you are now. In most relationships when people start to feel comfortable with each other and get to know each other, romance drops off a lot or even disappears altogether. There are many ways that a couple can be romantic; for example, surprise is a good thing to reintroduce back into the relationship. One night cook something you both enjoy that you had at a restaurant while you were dating, set out the table nicely with napkins and a tablecloth, wine glasses, candles, some nice flowers and low lighting. Get dressed up for the occasion and meet your spouse at the door with a big kiss and hello.

Romance can also include smaller things in your everyday life such as curling up bedside your partner to watch a movie, giving them a little kiss or a touch, perhaps a massage. There are many ways you can add romance back into the relationship and it doesn’t just mean flowers and chocolates, words and a touch can be a lot more romantic.

Doing something different can add a spark to your sex life. For example if you think of sex and just the bedroom then of course it will eventually get boring and the same all the time. Variety is the spice of life and you should bring some into your sex life. For example you could have a dress up play night, this could be where you introduce a scenario such as meeting each other in a bar and pretend you’re meeting for the first time. This could include dinner and a movie and of course plenty of hand holding.

If your sex life has gotten a little stale and only takes place on certain days as a matter of routine then change that routine and surprise your partner every now and again. Breaking what has become a habit is the main thing. Anything that is done out of habit becomes a chore and your sex life should be unpredictable and something which is on the spur of the moment. If you have children then think about asking if they can sleep at your parents every now and again to give the two of you some privacy and time to put some sparkle and surprise back into your life. Routine is the number one problem that causes the most stress and breakdown in marriages.

Sexual Skills for the Christian Husband

From “Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband” by Robert Irwin

Myth 1: Sex Isn’t As Important In A Christian Marriage

Did you realize that the divorce rate among Christian married couples is exactly the same as that of non-Christian couples?

The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers presented a study of the major reasons for the failure of marriages. They ranked “failed expectations or unmet needs” as the most important cause of divorce.

And, in my experience those “failed expectations and unmet needs are usually in the bedroom.

In my research for this book, I consulted pastors and Christian counselors and read EVERY Scripture that dealt with sex.

And you know what?

Sex in a Christian marriage is MORE important than in a non-Christian marriage!

In this book, you’ll discover why this is…and how to bring back the sex to your Christian marriage.

Myth 2: Good Christians Don’t Have Exciting Sex

I’ll address this idea first with one of my favorite C. S. Lewis quotes…

“Christianity is almost the only one of the great religions which thoroughly approves of the body – which believes that matter is good, that God Himself once took on a human body, that some kind of body is going to be given to us even in Heaven and is going to be an essential part of our happiness, our beauty, and our energy…Christianity has glorified marriage more than any other religion: and nearly all the greatest love poetry in the world has been produced by Christians. If anyone says that sex, in itself, is bad, Christianity contradicts him at once…”

Christians have a pretty bad reputation when it comes to sex and sexuality.

Within popular culture, Christians are portrayed as either sexually repressed or sexually deviant hypocrites.

This is predictable- Jesus told us that the world would not understand us (actually, he said it would hate us) because of Him.

So, this wouldn’t be a problem, if we did not sometimes (unconsciously or consciously) accept these false ideas, as well.

It is understandable. Many of the “authorities” to which we seek guidance have, at times, given us incorrect information regarding Christian sexuality and its relationship to pleasing God (holiness).

These false ideas can have particularly strong negative effects on Christian women.

Many times, we have heard Christians express their confusion with this topic in the following ways:

“How can I be pleasing to God and be a sensual, sexual, person?”

“I can not imagine that being that passionate is very Christian-like…”

“My spouse would never respect me if I did that…”

Within Christianity, as explained by C. S. Lewis above, there is no struggle between holiness and sexuality (within marriage).

The idea that we are to avoid physical pleasure to achieve spiritual holiness is not a Christian concept.

It was proposed by the philosopher Plato and it is where we get the term “platonic.” Followers of this “platonic” philosophy look at the physical world, including sexuality, as lesser “shadows” of the better, “spiritual” things. It pitted the physical and spiritual against each other. To pursue one was, by definition, to lose the other.

Unfortunately, this idea has, at times, found its way into the church, despite Scripture’s clear message otherwise.

Within this book, you will learn what God really wants for you, sexually.

Myth 3: Women Are Less Sexually Responsive Than Men

This is one of the most common (and damaging) ‘Christian sex myths.’

This myth has caused countless Christian couples to experience lifetimes of sexual disappointment.

But, once you learn THE TRUTH about female sexual response and arousal, you will not have to be one of these couples!

In this book, you will learn why, scientifically, women have 10X the sexual potential of most men.

More importantly, you will learn EXACTLY how to unleash this potential.

“Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband”

by Robert Irwin

Sexual Skills for the Christian Husband